The weirdest things I’ve found in Japan
Sniffing penguin ass, horny statues, and slats
Well I can’t pretend I’ve been busy.
The most gruelling part of my schedule in the last week has been deciding which egg sandwich to start my day with. But even so, I’ve found myself a little tired this afternoon.
It’s probably because I had a sauna and then indulged in some pleasure time with this naughty little slat:
So with just a bit over a week left in my trip, I thought this would be a good time to go through the photo album and share some of the stranger things I’ve come across in Japan so far.
On the weekend I went to an aquarium in Kobe. It wasn’t precisely a traditional setup. The exhibits were a little small, a little quirky. But they compensated for this with incredible light and laser shows.
Wonderful for visitors, quite bizarre for the fish. The least they could do, I thought, is give the poor bastards some MDMA. Or just pour some vodka in the tank every now and then. I don’t care what species you are, sober discos suck.
The laser show wasn’t the strangest thing at the aquarium, however. That title belonged to the butt wall.
“Isn’t the back of the creature cute?” The signs reads ominously. “You can enjoy the smell that you can’t usually smell while looking at its butt.”
Yes, this interactive display allowed you to bend over and get a good huff of penguins cheeks. Not just penguin, either! They had tiger ass, beaver ass, and even koala ass! Just when I was starting to feel homesick I can wheeze in eucalyptus-scented marsupial hole.
In Takamatsu I visited a yokai (which loosely translates to demon) museum dedicated to the district’s folklore. There were a few spooky characters on display, each with their own story or terrorising the locals.
And also this gratuitously sexy raccoon dog.
The legend goes that raccoon dogs (or tanuki) would smear blue moss on themselves in order to transform into humans. In the 1950s a couple of people walking through the forest caught sight of a tanuki gathering moss from the bottom of a pond and putting it on its head, a story they later shared with the rest of the town.
They made no mention of the tanuki having enormous, juicy tits, so I imagine this was just artistic license on the sculptor’s behalf.
Meanwhile in Kobe, the only gratuitously large thing on this sculpture is the forehead.
Can you believe this is the second statue of a pissing boy I’ve seen in Japan? Because it is.
It might be in a scenic location, but this is still just some kid having a slash where he shouldn’t be. Also, where are the statues of women popping a squat, I ask? Why is that not romanticised in art?
I also ran into an old friend! Fancy seeing you here, self-basting hotdog man!!
He’s a bit worse for wear, but nice to see someone I know.
Speaking of friends, I’ve been keeping an eye on social media while I’m away. It’s been nice seeing how many people I know are getting married or having children.
Meanwhile, this shop accurately represent my current status:
I hope wherever you are today, you are also with bread.
See you next Monday!
Steph